Classified "Code" Words
[Personals]

Women Seeking Men . . .

  • 40-ish - 48

  • Adventurer - Has had more partners that you ever will

  • Affectionate - Possessive

  • Artist - Unreliable

  • Athletic - Flat chested

  • Average Looking - Ugly

  • Beautiful - Pathological liar

  • Commitment Minded - Pick out curtains, now!

  • Communication Important - Just try to get a word in edgewise

  • Contagious Smile - Bring your penicillin

  • Educated - College dropout

  • Emotionally Secure - Medicated

  • Employed - Has part-time job stuffing envelopes at home

  • Enjoys Art & Opera - Snob

  • Enjoys Nature - Bring your own granola

  • Exotic Beauty - Would frighten a Martian

  • Feminist - Fat; ball buster

  • Financially Secure - One paycheck from the street

  • Free Spirit - Substance user

  • Friendship First - Trying to live down reputation as slut

  • Fun - Annoying

  • Gentle - Comatose

  • Good Listener - Borderline Autistic

  • Humorous - Caustic

  • Intuitive - Your opinion doesn't count

  • In Transition - Needs new sugar-daddy to pay the bills

  • Light Drinker - Lush

  • Looks Younger - If viewed from far away in bad light

  • Loves Travel - If you are paying

  • Loves Animals - Cat lady

  • New Age - All body hair, all the time

  • Non Traditional - Ex-husband lives in the basement

  • Old Fashioned - Lights out

  • Open Minded - Desperate

  • Outgoing - Loud

  • Petite - Won't stand out in a pack of Munchkins

  • Poet - Depressive Schizophrenic

  • Professional - Bitch

  • Redhead - Shops the Clairol aisle

  • Reliable - Frumpy

  • Romantic - Looks better by candlelight

  • Self-employed - Jobless

  • Smart - Insipid

  • Spiritual - Involved with a cult

  • Stable -Boring

  • Tall, Thin - Anorexic

  • Tan - Wrinkled

  • Wants Soulmate - One step away from stalking

  • Widow - Nagged first husband to death

  • Writer - Pompous

  • Young at Heart - Toothless crone

Men Seeking Women . . .

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